I can't believe that I'm still alive after those things going around me...
Firstly, I got a really bad infection on my throat and it hasn't healed for more than 1 month.
Second, my school gives me a damn lot of works and tests.
Third, I'm kinda addicted to playing LimitRO for these past few weeks, I really love my Warlock and Biochemist ~~~~
Fourth, I still have a weird feeling after eating two of my group's experiments, a tofu made from green peas and an ice cream made from soya milk (they tasted weirrdddddd)
Fifth, I haven't studied for the coming Japanese Proficiency Test...
Sixth, my scores have been going up and down and they aren't stable... I really need to concentrate on my studies more, I guess...
Seventh, I don't know how to say this but... I can't understand my own feelings. I don't even feel anything anymore.... Am I really laughing from the bottom of my heart? Or maybe am I really that lonely and scared? Scared of losing what I treasure the most... Am I feeling envy to others? I just don't understand... and maybe I will never understand it.
Lastly, I think that I've been falling down more than I realized... Whenever I saw the picture hanging at my school, the picture which contains the sentence ," No matter how far you've gone, you can always turn back." (maybe a little different than that but it contains the same meaning) I believe that I can never turn back... Hating myself, my life, everything around me... and the things I can't ever part with... Ryo, Ruelle, End Earth's Main Family and my addiction to BoyxBoy Relationship. I don't care what people think about me, maybe they think that I'm weird or whatever, but I treasure those things the most and those things are the things that have kept me alive until this very second. If they're gone... I don't think I can continue living anymore. I'm willing to sacrifice anything for them, I'm willing to loose my cage that I've put to them so that they can be happy, I'm willing to look them at their backs when they are having fun with others. I'm willing to put aside my addiction so that they don't feel strange when they're with me... And of course, I'm willing to forget my questions and my suspicions on them... I often thought and asked myself," I've been sacrificing all of myself for them, but why can't they realize it?..." .... WHY?. I can't force myself to gather my courage to submit my works here, because one of my treasured thing is right here and maybe reading this journal... I just want him to know that... I love and care about him, Wind-chan and Wg-niichan more than they ever knew. And I guess I'll keep my most important secret from them.

Reason of editing : I've deleted my forumer forum and made a new one.

I wanted to delete my old forum, and it will be opened on 11th or 12th September 2009 [link]

The forum is in Indonesian by the way...so...sorry for people who can't speak Indonesian.

Ayo! Silahkan bergabung di forum RyonoKazoku! Forum ini berisi fantasi, misteri dan mistis (danshonen-aidanyaoijikaandamau) Harap baca dulu peraturannya~ (saya tahu kalau peraturannya agak banyak, tapi ini semua demi ketertiban dan kelancaran forum).
Mari kita menebarkan kreativitas dan imajinasi kita~!

Bagi yang ingin bergabung, saya mau minta tolong untuk menyebarluaskan forum ini. Thx XD

RnK members at dA :

OMG!!! There's an earthquake at Tasikmalaya! (West Java) It's 7.3 Ritcher... and it may cause tsunami too...

Indonesian :
Gila bo... Gw lagi ngetik-ngetik di SG tiba-tiba kursi gw goyang-goyang trus mulai gerak-gerak kiri kanan... Gw kira ada setan ato kekuatan supernatural ternyata gempa toh. Gw tentu saja refleks ngomong "Woi, ada gempa!!" ke orang-orang di rumah yang pada di lantai bawah. Mereka bingung, gak nyadar. "GEMPA! ADA GEMPA!!!" gw meluruskan omongan gw. Mereka baru sadar trus liat ke depan rumah sedangkan gw asyik2xnya di depan kamar, mejeng, liat2x keluar dari jendela, ngeliatin orang kalang kabut di depan, ngeliat ada ambulans lewat rumah gw. Trus gw langsung liat TV, wew keren langsung ada beritanya lho XD Gw langsung mengganti status FB gw, YM gw XD (padahal masih gempa)

I went to Education Fair at Jakarta Convention Center on Sunday... There were many universities in other country that offers scholarship and so on. Some of them are well-known universities too XD I took a look there and spotted JASSO (Japan) and decided to ask some things about how to take a scholarship in Japan. And I also went to (an academy in Australia) stand...The teacher who is Australian said that in that academy, they study 2D animation, 3D animation, 3D games and so on... (Wow, there's no university like that in Indonesia) And I went to China and Singapore too and also Monash University in Australia .
But what shocked me the most is the information I got from JASSO.
Sorry, but I have to tell you in Indonesian :
Buset dah, aku bener2x gak nyangka klo di Jepang 1 bulan itu muuahhaaallll bgt. Emang sih dibanding negara lain, biaya kuliah di Jepang lebih murah, tapi klo kehidupannya sih....TAKAI abizzz... Trus aku dikasih tau klo mau dapet beasiswa di Jepang harus ikut EJU. EJU itu isinya tes Matematika, Kimia, Biologi, Fisika, Sejarah ama Bahasa Jepang. Katanya sih... Bhs Jepangnya setara dengan Noryoku Shiken level 1!!!! Padahal aku gak yakin bakalan lulus yang level 3... TT_TT Jurusan di Jepang itu buannyaaakkk bgt yang menyebabkan aku bingung harus ambil jurusan apa... Aku harus siap stress dan sibuk bgt klo mau ke Jepang. (mudah2xan sih gak jadi salah satu victimnya SHINKANSEN SUICIDE yang lagi nge-tren di Jepang) Klo mau tau lagi soal Education Fairnya, kasih comment aja XD



Request and art trade slots are now open!!! (temporary)
Please comment on this journal if you want to request or art trade.
The request or art trade will be finished in min. 4 days (because I haven't got many chances to open my laptop and color it. The sketch and inking are usually finished in some hours.)-> you could request a sketch XD

Request :
1. - Her OCs Progress : Finished!!!
2. - Her and my OC, Charlotte XD (in cool mode ) Progress : Finished!!!
3.
4.
Art trade :
1. - Hetalia->Hongkong x China Progress : 15%
2.
3.
4.
5.

Don't forget the Kiriban at 4444!

My lil bro (virtually) has made her(his?) dA account! Plz visit her XD

I have some plans I want to finish during this new class (for the whole one year)
And I think I better write them down before I forget all of them...

My plans :
1. Draw lots of pictures (especially a type of drawing that can blind people?)
2. Continue my comics (because my friends want me to)
3. Make lots of money
4. Be more positive
5. Improve my skills (in everything...I guess?)
6. Do Noryoku Shiken 3 kyuu.... (I hope I pass...)
7. Study Japanese real hard so I can grab one of those scholarship
8. Study hard and be more dilligent
9. Love yaoi more
10. Finish the plannings for my own BL game.

Request and art trade slots are now open!!! (temporary)
Please comment on this journal if you want to request or art trade.
The request or art trade will be finished in min. 4 days (because I haven't got many chances to open my laptop and color it. The sketch and inking are usually finished in some hours.)-> you could request a sketch XD

Request :
1. - Her OCs Progress : 80%
2. - Her and my OC, Charlotte XD (in cool mode ) Progress : 10%
3.
4.
Art trade :
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Don't forget the Kiriban at 4444!